Love is passion, the idea of loving can be powerful, but unreciprocated leaves painful. Let’s talk!

(Still updating)

This is my last time being “immature” with an excuse. Frontal lobe isn’t fully developed (24).

I know valentines day has come and gone, but the feeling of love lasts further than that okay? This was initially planned to be a part of that series along with many other articles, but you know how it goes. Life gets in the way. Mind you, I was going through it with a crush so, I am even more equipped to give you the tea, updates, and my most current advice.

This article is very special as my lovelies, followers, supporters, and friends helped with it. I asked them to drop some questions about love, crushes, types, and advice. I thank every single one of you for your support and love for me. I do not take it for granted. 

Okay lovelies, RA fans, and casual readers, let’s jump in! And if you have any questions you want answered for another video, drop them below and/or on my socials! I would love to cover them for the next video!

Now time for my musical disclaimer thing:

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Sing it with me! 

Remember all “advice” is just coming from another human being-meaning it is just words don’t have to believe them. I am not perfect and things change; we will work on it. You can take the words and keep them in your mind, or you can just leave them behind. I won’t mind; It’s your choice! (I hope this comes off playfully!) 

Seriously though, I do hope that in the end of my yap sessions you ultimately come up with your decision on those topics on your own. If I help, that’s my goal, but if it doesn’t it’s okay too. Maybe my take ended up aligning or maybe it ended up helping you double down on your previous take. Or even come up with a different one. My end goal is to ultimately help when needed. Having the conversation is more than enough for me.

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Okay on with the questions:

Question: What’s your love life like? 

My love life is non-existent. Yeah. I’m sorry if that disappoints.

Question: Are you crushing on anyone now?

I am not. Currently, I’m in an awkward phase where I am not necessarily crushing on this person anymore, but I find myself still thinking about them. Which realistically means I still care about them, but I am getting over them. I don’t wish this on my worst enemy. It’s embarrassingly pathetic. But what can I say, I crush hard.

Question: Do you believe in “types” or “preferences”?

I do. Now, hear me out! It’s not fully in the way you will assume. 

I do think I have certain types of people I see myself in relationships with. For example, I see some people as datable and others as marriage material. Now slow your horses, donkeys, and camels. I will not be in a relationship with more than one person at a time. I just mean as a visual, I see some people as certain things. I do think that I can draw up boyfriend material and husband material men. Those are the ones I look for the most. 

Medium story: Everything that I liked in the past was mainly media influence. I came to this realization at 18. I actually had this conversation with one of the editors for this blog over lunch. I was saying how crazy it is that the media really had this kind of influence over crucial parts of our lives. When it comes to identity and our “preferences”. It’s crazy, but there’s an article cooking for sure on that one. But that’s a conversation for another day with another person. 

It is hard to say which is what

Question: What’s your Type? 😉

After that long winded answer… let’s talk about it. I do prefer men who are older than me or my age. I discuss this more in my video which is coming out soon. If I were to date someone younger, it would have to be a man who is around a year younger. I do prefer that as I like older men. 

A man who is aligning with my religious values. As well as manners and morals. I think lifestyle wise, that’s very important. We make mistakes, we’re human, but it will ultimately be about how you continue from there.

Here’s the “gotcha” moment for some of you. I do want a guy taller than me. I prefer that. This is superficial and isn’t important. Honestly, for me, my crushes I valued the most were actually my height, close to my height, or shorter than me. Which shows how that doesn’t matter. As well as other things that I won’t bore you with. But if it was something that wouldn’t really matter, it doesn’t matter to me that much. 

Question: What do you look for in a man?

I think I look for good in all people. No matter if it were my partner or someone I just met. I want someone who is loving. If it’s dating to get married…I expect more. I do believe that it won’t be for a while now, but I do want to date to marry. I think long-term partners take effort and I want to have similarities that matter. Not just taste in food or travel. I want someone who wants the same things I want in life. For example, I want there to be more peace in this world. 

Question: How to get over someone?

This is where I am currently at. Not in the same way I was previously with my other crush, but with a new one. 

To be honest…you will. How? Well I am sure you had crushes in the past…are you still thinking about them? How about those old colleagues at work? Maybe those old friends? I think we do end up forgetting about a lot of people. Depending on your closeness to them, it can be harder to get over them. I think we never really “get over” someone, it just gets easier to not remind yourself of those old feelings. 

I say as long as you stay busy, the easier it is to distract yourself from the fact you miss them. This applies to everything. In a way, anything can be a form of grief. It’s not just a loss. And that’s not being dramatic, have you heard of broken heart syndrome? Yeah that’s a real thing. And maybe that extreme isn’t there, but you can really have strong bonds with that person.

I do want more details on these relationships. So if you want specific advice, without getting too personal (maybe fake some names and scenarios?), give me the details to see if it’s worth even missing. Of course I can’t tell you how to feel, but I do want to give my full honest opinion. Sending love your way! *virtual hugs*

Question: What is “love”?

By textbook definition-by textbook I mean online lol. According to Merriam-Webster, love by definition is: “strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties”. Of course there are different definitions. And even when you first search the word up, there’s the first definition and the ai overview lol. But just like how these vary, love varies too. 

You need to make sure to check with that other person to see what their version of love is. We’re all different. As a textbook accurate version of a Pisces, my love is different from many. I love rose tinted glasses. But other times I can be realistic, but I don’t like to be if I don’t have to. 

So what is love? I think truly it’s a feeling of like. Just wrapped with way more passion. And it makes you emotionally invested in this

relationship and all the possibilities that can become. I think there’s a scale: 

Hate

Dislike

Indifferent

Like

Love

This is the different levels of emotions. Different levels of passion. So yeah I think that’s what love is.

Question: How do you advance after the initial “crushing” phase? Should you wait and see if they like you too?

I think is a bit of waiting to do. Of course you should wait to see h

Question: How do you navigate crushing on someone and still wanting to be friends without making it awkward?

Ultimately things change, but the one thing that doesn’t, is my love for you all. Literally my worst times in life were made easier with creativity, and the fuel of you all supporting me. If you’re ever feeling down know that I am rooting for you and we want you to get back to your best self as quickly as possible. But remember, healing is a journey. It’s okay not to be okay. And being selfless is caring about you and putting your well-being first. It’s not being selfish, it’s being selfless. With these things in mind, enjoy the rest of your day and choose you!

See you soon. Love you, Lovelies. Stay lovely! 

XOXO,

DG